The New "Big Funny" Scenario - President Grassley!

This is the sort of thing that should never, ever happen. And it probably (hopefully?) won't! But it *could,* and it's hilarious.

Hello, friends,

The term “Big Funny” comes (to me, at least) from the streamer Vaush, and I’ve taken it to mean the idea that a big crazy event happens where everything changes, but in a really Byzantine way.

You all liked my previous “Big Funny” hypothetical where Kamala Harris shows the courage Mike Pence lacks and refuses to certify the 2024 election. After many consultations with my good friend and occasional co-conspirator Jamie Diamond, we came up with another one I wanna share with you real quick.

You read the title, you don’t need lily-gilding. Let’s go. President Grassley.

- Image courtesy of Wikipedia. Which I don’t know maybe you should donate to?

Our Hypothetical Nightmare Situation.

Remember that all of these hypothetical “Big Funny” situations are abstractions of technicalities that honestly should not be banked on for any positive change whatsoever.

First, props to US News for its timeline. Here’s how this is supposed to go:

1 - On January 3rd (That’s tomorrow! Yay!), in this case a Friday, the new Congress is sworn in. Makes sense so far, right?

2 - When the new Congress is sworn in, it has to appoint its own leadership. (This is important)

3 - On Monday, January 6th, the newly-appointed Congress has to certify the 2024 election.

4 - On January 20th, 2024, Donald Trump is to take the White House.

Now, go back to the 2nd part of this process.

The very first thing the House of Representatives does - and, in fact, has to do as per Article 1, Section 2 of the Constitution:

Leaving aside “Shall chuse” being a typo either in the document or its transcription, the instruction is rather clear: The House must elect a Speaker. It can’t do anything else until it’s done that.

In fact, in the last two years, there have been multiple times that the House has shut down due to not having a Speaker. Remember Kevin McCarthy and Fifteen Rounds? Great times!

See - We just might be doing it again.

Republicans have a razor-thin margin of votes to appoint one of their own as Speaker. In fact, they can afford to lose just one vote - and Thomas Massie is that vote. He’s said he’s out. He’s not supporting the current Speaker, Mike Johnson, for a new term.

In fact, Massie has a plan. Chip Roy is quoted in this article as undecided. If Chip Roy decides not to support Johnson, that’s it. Johnson won’t get it, at least not immediately.

The House can’t appoint a Speaker.

If the House can’t appoint a Speaker, who runs the show on the January 6th certification of the election?

And what happens, then?

Let’s Continue The Hypothetical

Okay. Reality is, at absolute worst, the certification just gets postponed much as it did when Donald Trump led a terrorist attack on the Capitol on January 6th, 2021. That’s obvious. Even if it takes an extra couple of days, the certification still happens when there’s a Speaker, which - eventually - there will be one.

But what if that delay lasts until the end of Biden’s term on January 20th?

Biden’s term is up, and he is no longer President.

Donald Trump’s election is not certified, so he cannot be President (or…Can he? Who’s to say but the Supreme Court, so they mayyyy just declare that he is the President/Monarch).

The Presidential Line of Succession, by the way, goes: President, Vice President, Speaker Of The House, Senate President pro tempore, then a bunch of Executive Branch appointees such as the Secretary of State.

If Trump’s election isn’t certified, neither is Vance’s. That means Vance can’t be President, either.

And if there is no Speaker Of The House, then that position can’t fill the Presidency.

That leaves one last person in the Line of Succession: Senate President pro tempore - Chuck Grassley. By the way, the President pro tempore is the longest-serving Senator from the majority party. Chuck Grassley is in his 90’s. Just, you know, in case you were curious.

So that’s it. There’s no certified election, thus no President and Vice President. There’s no Speaker, either. So there’s just Grassley. And this isn’t an acting Presidency, as the previous three positions have become just as unfilled as they would if the holders had died.

And if he refused, what then? Well, I don’t know! Do a previous President’s cabinet members stay on until they are replaced? I don’t think so…? I don’t know. This situation is already farcical enough.

It’d be funny to make all the “Trump 45-47” merch worthless, though.